I did it! I signed my first lease all by myself. I got my keys and inspected my new apartment. Let me just say, it is actually nicer than the one I’ve been in. The lay out is pretty much the same, and it’s even on the same side of the building; therefore, I don’t have to do the whole living in a reverse world like I had to do switching apartments in college. Anywhoo- it’s very clean, cleaner than this one was when I moved in, and the carpet is brand new as well as the appliances. That puts a lot of pressure on me, but I’m a pretty clean person, and I can take care of it. My sliding glass door actually opens to a cemented patio unlike the one  in this apartment, and…I can pull my car up on the grass right behind my apartment. Now, I won’t be parking there, but it’s great for unloading and loading lots of things. The only thing I do not like about this apartment is that it does not have the built-in shelving in the wall like my old one. I really enjoyed that shelving. Plus, I don’t have a bay window this time, something I loved in the old apt. The closet is still walkin. It’s slightly smaller, but longer. (if that makes sense). I all ready bought closet  bars and installed them so that I can still have two wracks of clothes. Instead of them being on opposite sides, they are just on top of one another. I made 5 trips full in my car and managed to bring everything over except large items that can’t fit in my car and really heavy tubs of stuff. I don’t know that I will unpack all my stuff. I can’t decide. Like I said, I have less shelving, and I don’t want to put up shelves. I think that is tacky actually. I have two bookcases now because Dannae left me hers. I’ll definitely put that to use. My color scheme in the den is black, winter white, and deep pink ;). It’s very pretty. My room and bathroom will stay the same.

Ok, so I don’t know if that bored you or not. I had a lot of fun moving stuff, but it tired me out. I mean…loading the stuff from my old apt to my car was the hard part. Tonight I’m gonna get everything organized to go into the truck. The movers come on Saturday, but I’ll be at the mission most of tomorrow. I’m excited about my window treatments. I looked at some today but didnt make any decisions; i want to take my time.

Tonight I’m gonna proof a paper and watch the MTV music awards. I have missed Titus’ call 3 nights in a row now because I haven’t been able to stay up. he’s been out of town and his work schedule is wack. So…we have a phone time scheduled for early tomorrow morning. I can do mornings.

I’ve been praying a lot about my time with Kim lately. I want Jesus to feed her, and I am so unworthy of a vessel. Pray for our meeting tomorrow. I don’t know when exactly it will be. I’m heading to the mission I guess around 1 or something.

OH…FYI- and most importantly. My eye is all swelled up. I feel like Whitney. I don’t knwo what’s wrong. It’s like a sty but its bigger. AND…I have more bites on my hurt leg that are really infected again. My leg is once again swollen. This is the third round of bites. I think that leg is just kinda out of commission and so it is reacting to even normal mosquito bites in abnormal ways. I pray that these bites will heal. I’m tired of being physically ill. I know my injuries are not nearly as bad as some people with chronic illness, but it gives me a feel into the lives of people who suffer with chronic disorders. I am happy to be able to empathize. This summer has taught me a lot about empathizing with others.

Ok, that’s all…over and out like a pink trout!
xoxoxo,
meginlea

p.s. last night I watched Friends with Money. It was interesting. I didn’t mind it, but I wouldn’t reccomend it to everyone.

These colors represent rage for me right now:

I need to vent. I need to complain. Warning…this is not happy!

I just went to Walmart because I needed to buy some crates/tubs for packing. OMG- as if yesterday was not a tiring enough day to bring my vulnerable spirits down, this morning topped it off. People in New England are just mean. I know that is a blanket stereotypical statement, but sometimes I feel like they could take lessons from people in the South. Let’s just say they could when it comes to Walmart. I’ll spare you all the details, but after a trip from hell, I ended up in the parking lot with a buggy (not cart…buggy) full of tubs, a trashcan, and various packing things. The buggy was bigger than me. It was pouring rain. And by the buggy was bigger than me I mean that it was like 3 times my height. Anyway, long story short the lids to the tubs fell out. I leaned over to pick them up, but then some of the stuff in the tubs fell out, along with everything in my sweatshirt pockets. (i had to wear a sweatshirt because it was 55 degrees and rainy in damn August). So my paper list, pen, phone, keys, chapstick, and half the stuff I bought are on the ground. I’m trying to pick the stuff up, and people are just stepping all over it and muttering things that I’m sure were mean. One person was like “you are blocking the door.” No crap…but there is only one of me dangit! So I start crying and trying to pick stuff up, but someone knocks the cart and it goes rolling. Derek calls me and I answer and say “let me call you back!” I finally get everything picked up, but I’m soaked as well as my stuff. I manage to get to my car after manipulating the buggy and getting more wet. An umbrella wasn’t an option. I finally get everything in and get in myself and just start sobbing. But, I calm down and call Derek, but then he couldn’t talk. So I started driving home only to have about 50 people cutt me off while driving and hold up their hands to say “thanks” when they don’t need to say thanks because I didn’t let them out in front of me…THEY JUST PULLED OUT. So I’m back home. I unloaded my car. I need to write a paper. I’m frustrated. My apartment is a wreck. I think I’ll go pray.

Sorry this was pissy…hopefully a month from now I’ll look back and be in a better mood.

meginlea

Currently I am on hold with Comcast. This is a good way to pass the time right? Steve would laugh at me. He doesn’t quite understand why I care so much about xanga and facebook and why I check my feedback log. I think it’s a generational gap. I’m sorry his generation is not as intune with the world. Anywhooo-

It was a good weekend that I had my friends, but good for reasons deeper than I had people to hang out with. It was a good weekend of knowing that although I am a sinner and cannot be completely obedient or get my will out of things, that I was being obedient from God. The weekend started with a check of where my sense of meaning and joy was coming from (Jesus,) and ended with the same (Jesus…) and I will add was sporatically throughout reminded and rechecked.

Friday evening I went down the the mission. I sang there that night. I cannot even explain how the Spirit was moving and the transformations taking place within myself, the other leaders, and the people there. The word does not return void, and one thing is for sure, if you seek Jesus completely and ask Him to draw you near, He freaking does. Being at the mission was incredible. It was the feeling of doing exactly what you were made to do, ministering through music and song and just letting the Lord pour me out however He wanted, not regarding myself. Anyway, I got to talk with my mentee a lot the day before, and I’m super excited about what God’s doing there. We scheduled appts. for this week, and I also talked with Lynn. I’m looking forward to spending all of Friday at the mission and perhaps getting up there for random hangout time this week also. I love learning new card tricks from Damon and listening to Ramone talk about rat poison in Spanish :).

Saturday morning I got up and ran and then met up with Steve. We had a really layed back day that consisted of..umm I can’t quite remember. I think we went to the mall. I know we ate Mexican and it was incredible, and we attempted to watch Into the Spear. Sunday I sang again the same song from Friday night but at a small congregational church in Woburn Mass. It’s incredible. I’ve been praying so intently for only a week about God revealing to me more of His purpose for me, what He made me for, the ministry He wants to do through me, and I’m seeing how it can really come together through music…and the best part is that it doesn’t require more school which is something I feared. Jesus just writes this crap through me, an unworthy vessel, and somehow or another it blesses people. That is bizarre to me. So…maybe I’ll take out an add in the paper for being a traveling music evangelist. haha

Sunday afternoon I hit up a mall in Copley Center in downtown Boston, but I didn’t buy. Shopping is a weakness that I seriously can’t get past. It makes me hate my life. I think I need to lay that at the altar. Because…I WANT TO BUY EVERYTHING and feel unworthy when I see stuff I want and shouldn’t buy. Yeah, it’s bad.

So…a little annoyed at Dr. Kuzmic. We JUST got a letter in our boxes about OMP 721. Apparently in addition to everyhting I all ready did this summer for it, I have to write a paper about the theological implications of my ministry and how that changed through the overseas experience this summer. That’s fine; no biggie. BUT…I would have totally all ready have done that had I known about it, and now I have to do it now. I know..I have plenty of time. It’s not due till September 22, and I have free time the next two weeks, but I don’t want to do it now. I would have wanted to do it right when I got back from China and everything was fresh. And apparently I have to have poor Titus write a letter. I feel so bad bothering him about this crap. He didn’t know what he was taking on as my mentor for the OMP. Ah well…gotta do it. I should have known. Dr. Kuzmic is so layed back that he does stuff like this at the last minute even though it was in no syllabus before. ARggg…

Abraham is currently biting my fingers. I just got off with Comcast. My service will be changed on September 5th. I move into my new apartment on September 2nd. So..that means it’s time to pack my friends. Can’t put it off anymore. So today I will pack, watch Days, eat, write some of my paper, or come up with an outline perhaps. Maybe I’ll rent a movie tonight. I don’t know. I have stuff to do, but none of it is fun. I’m bored even though I have stuff to do. Make sense? completely. I’m excited for school to start, but the feeling of all that work is making me think it can take its sweet time. One more year Meginlea…and then you don’t have to write a paper again if you don’t want. One more year. I can’t wait to read this post in a year from now :).

Have a good one my friends. Seek Jesus…seek His face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace!

Amen,
meginlea

I love my windows open 🙂

WGC did not like my post. Let me explain, this morning I opened the windows in my apt. We never open these windows. I sat and listened to the rain. I’m usually way more of a doer type person. I don’t read for fun; I don’t just watch the clouds, but this was really peaceful and relaxing. I do love the windows open whether in a house or in a car. In a house reminds me of when I was a little girl and Mama would clean the house. My mother used to clean religiously. It was a mixture of lysol, pinesol, and the fresh air outside. She was usually gardening too, so I could smell fresh dirt…and pinestraw because I’m southern :). Abers sat on the window sill today and meowed at the insects. It was cute.

Later today I went to the mall. I bought a mini jean skirt blue and brown leggings. I all ready have white and black stripe. I’d like some dark grey. Anyway, I also bought a pretty wrap light sweater from New York Company. My day wasn’t filled with just random purchases. I’ve spent a lot of time in prayer and reflection today. I feel like Job in chapter 1. I am stripped bare. This summer has brought so much into my life and so much out of my life. Some of the things I’ve gone through I would never have imagined in a million years, good and bad. Right down to being bedridden and stuck in Chinese hospitals with holes in my leg. Anyway, I just feel as if Jesus asked, have you considered my servant MeginLea? I needed to be considered though. Recently sin has been revealed in my life that I had ignored for a while, just cast aside. Instead of being overcome with guilt, however, I am overcome with joy at the feet of Jesus. It’s a strange joy. I still find myself crying over recent loss, but then I know I’m where I’m supposed to be, in Jesus arms. He’s asking for all of me and once again pursuing me. That’s why I wanted to listen to the rain. Even the small things are a gentle comfort from my Lord. I wish I had a fireplace :). Ok, I’m gonna shower now. Pray for the mission tonight. I’m singing. I pray Jesus will sing through me. I know he wrote this song, not me. It was too easy. It just flowed out. I pray it will touch people’s hearts and that Jesus will be transforming us all, even me, all of us, making us love Him more.

Feeling free…feeling clean, now off to shower 🙂

meginlea

p.s. please also pray for my next few days specifically. I’m not really sure what I”m going to do and I don’t really have any friends in Boston right now. I”m afraid that I’m gonna get super lonely. I’ve managed to have stuff to do so far, but its starting to look bleak. I know Jesus wants me to just sit with him in silence for a bit, and I have done that. I think He’s been trying to get my attention for a while…first attempt, laying me out in a Chinese dorm with no one around for at least 10 hours a day. That was intense, but even then, I don’t think I really listened. I’m just a little scared. Please pray for me.

bye byeeeee

So the Israelites first followed Moses because he said he could get them out of slavery. That is all they really cared about. They didn’t give a damn about who this God was who was going to work in them. They just said, yeah…promised land. I imagine some of them, if they could speak English, would have been like “Score!” But soon they realized that the promised land wasn’t all that great. It was taking a long time to get to. They yelled at God; they yelled at God’s messenger, Moses. They worshipped other gods. Yet, God said, not only am I bringing you to the promised land, but there is more that you can’t see right now. I will be your God and YOU will be my children. God chose them up and was there God. He took them as a remnant; yet, they didn’t understand.

In my life, I think the past year brought me to a place where I really saw a glimpse of the earthly promised land God intended to give me. The glimpse of it definitely brought me through the hardest year of my life, and the most rewarding year of my life. But now I find myself in a place of desert. I wonder, how long will I wander. God tested and tryed the Israelites faith for 40 years. I doubt I will desert year for 40 years, but only because of the lessons from the Bible that we have to learn from, to which we can look and glean much. Spring certainly arrived in my life in incredible God controlled ways. I know I didn’t try to find anything; rather, God found me. Lord, let the years begin here whether they are years or days or months. Let the tears begin, and bring me something so much more. Bring me not earthly comfort or stability, but bring me You. Be my God, and make me Your child. I know that my prayers of “Lord what do you want” are somewhat futile because in actuality the answer is quite simple. God says, “MeginLea, I want all of you.” Lord, have all of me. I need nothing but Your daily bread which comes in small quantities on a daily basis. Make me Your child; thy will be done. Lord, grant me mercy and grace and patience and perseverance through Your Holy Spirit to continually submit, and help me to joyfully submit. You know my sinful heart; you know my sinful desires, and you know my desires that are not sinful but merely what you have given me. Take them all and refine them; direct me. God, give me all of You. It is surely more than enough. Find me Jesus…find me.

Amen,
meginlea

Hello Everyone. It’s MeginLea live from NYC. I love New York. Steve and I are here helping Bryan (Steve’s brother) set up his new apartment. So far this morning we’ve picked out piant for the bathroom and kitchen, put together the TV stand, worked on programming the amazing swivel tv and dvd player, and made a list of all the stuff we need to do today. It’s been a really great trip so far. Steve and I didn’t get in until around 2 a.m. last night, and since he had had so much freaking ice coffee, we were up until like 5. Then we got up at 8. Bryan’s apartment is a studio, and its beautiful. Seriously, I’m super jealous. Ok, Steve is making fun of me for updating my xanga right now. haha oh well. I must say, I’ve really enjoyed meeting Bryan. He and Steve are a lot alike. I like their dynamic.

The past week has been intense, a lot of seeking God, a lot of realizing how much I don’t submit to him on a daily basis. I have enjoyed seeing old friends from around here. I met up with Billy the other day and watched the most terrible movie in the entire world. It was seriously the most wasted 83 minutes of my life. Today is my Mama’s Birthday…and Titus’s birthday! Happy birthday Titus and Mommy…and Bill Clinton 🙂

Dannae will be back Sunday for a sec, and then she’s gone for good. I still haven’t started packing my apartment. I will; I promise.

WGC is coming to visit me from October 5th to October 10th. How amazing is that. It’s prett much the most amazing thing int he entire world. I can’t wait to see her. I wish CYN would come too. I love those two girls so much. They are the most amazing friends I could ever ask for :).

I’m taking Greek this year on TR nights, and Melissa and Billy are gonna be in there. Score-

Thank you Lord for the blessings you bestowed upon me this week. Thank you for redemption and healing. I thank you that you give strength in the times of intense trial. God, continue to guide. I offer myself to you today fully. Meet me here Lord.

Ok, I’m gonna enjoy NYC. We’re gonna run in Central Park later today. I feel really great right now.

BYEEEEEEEEEEE-

meginlea

A morning in the life of Meginlea :)

So Dannae said she was leaving between 8 and 9 this morning. Soooooo I got up at 8:04 to tell her bye, and she was GONE! She’d left, without saying goodbye, knowing I may not see her again!!!!!!! OMG! I’m so sad :(.

So I was gonna run, but it was raining, so I went outside and spent some time with God while listening to the rain. Then I came in and ate some breakfast, but I realized that we didn’t really have many clean dishes because Dannae packed all hers and most of mine were dirty…so I went to wash some, but we didn’t have dish detergent. I didn’t know that because I haven’t been here. SO….I thought I could use the Palm Olive that we hand wash dishes with. I filled up the washer with it and started it. Then I went to do some pilates. Well, next thing I know THE ENTIRE KITCHEN IS FILLED WITH SUDS. I guess I learned this lesson just in time for my new apartment. OMG- I am such an idiot sometimes. Of course! So, I tried to clean it up, but it was mainly suds and not that much water, so I’ve been waiting for them to clear. Most of them have, and I’ve pretty much got it mopped up now.

Then, I called Folly Hill to see when I could move in to my new apt. They had said they just had to paint and that I could move in before the 1st. Well, today the lady was a total mean yankee biotch. She was cold and flippant and was like “no you can’t move in until the 1st. The normal move in day.” I still think she’s pissed b/c she is having to give me this apt for 850 a month instead of 950 like it goes for. I used my GC connections and got it cheaper, and I think that pissed her off. Oh well- they don’t need 950 a month anyway. That’s ridiculous. 850 is ridiculous; well I guess not really for Boston in a nice area.

So anyway, that has been my morning so far. Haha, sometimes I just laugh and think “Ok, God, you have my attention. What do you want to say?” I have found the past few days to be days of Him showing me how quickly he can take a lot away and leave me sitting by myself staring at the wall. I am not downtrodden though. Nothing can seperate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus. I welcome any trials or tests or persecutions right now. I don’t mind. I want to grow in Christ. I want to be sanctified, and in all honesty, everything will work out, and I’ll be better for it after it does. So…on with the day. I’m sure some other crazy things will happen. It reminds me of the CC song that DWebb sings where he says “This days been crazy but everythings happened on schedule. From the rain and the cold to the drink that I spilled on my shirt. And you knew how you’d save me before I fell dead in the garden. And you knew this day long before you made me out of dirt.” It’s so true. I’m glad I’m a reformed theologian. It helps me sleep ;).

All right, I’ll be sure to keep you posted on anymore randomness. Oh, and my new infection in the leg seems to be getting a little worse. I’m doing as much as I know how to do, and Mama is giving me advice, but I’m pretty afraid I may have to visit a doctor soon to have another incision…another hole. You know what though, it’s ok. Paul bore on his body the marks for Jesus Christ. I am pushed down but not destroyed, persecuted but not abandoned. Lord, use these unpleasant and uncomfortable situations to draw me more to you. Give me your daily bread of grace to get me through. Fill my days with you, with peace in your presence amidst personal turmoil. There are luxories I desire now, but you may not desire to give them to me. When I do find such luxories,  I will only appreciate them more remembering the hard times. You are my God and King eternal, and I’m nowhere near the point that Job found himself in. What have I to complain about? You will only give me as much as I can handle, and when I think I can handle no more, I will cry out to you and tell you that, and you will either relieve me and give me your strength. That, my friends, is a promise that cannot compare to any earthly comfort or love. That my friends, is Christ Jesus.

Happy Tuesday!
Love,
meginlea, the holes in her body, the boxes she’s living out of, the suds in her kitchen, the overwhelmed people in her life, and the mean yankee apartment woman 🙂

Just because it amused me, here is the convo I had with Derek today :)! Derek, I make you famous!

Meginlealuvsya: i’ll help you raise support
shivrz45: yeah?
shivrz45: how?
Meginlealuvsya: ummmmmmm
Meginlealuvsya: i’d dress up really cute and smile really big and ask for money?
Meginlealuvsya: wait,
Meginlealuvsya: thats not a good idea- they might get the WRONG idea
shivrz45: ha ha
shivrz45: i think that’s a fantabulous idea!!!! 
shivrz45: i’ll do the same
Meginlealuvsya: OK!
shivrz45: i’ll wear tight black pants and a collar
shivrz45: but not a chip’n’ dales collar
shivrz45: like, a priest collar
Meginlealuvsya: yeah i’ll show off my legs, you show off your breasts
Meginlealuvsya: and steve could shake his ass
shivrz45: ass shakin’
shivrz45: i think steve and i might have to switch
Meginlealuvsya: hahahahhaa
shivrz45: my ass is slightly more bubbly, and his breasts, at that point, will be slightly less stubbly.

and for anyone who cares, i have another bite on my leg that is getting really infected and beginning to look a lot like the last one. this one has been here since hong kong, and im wondering if i am not just having an allergic reaction to whatever it was that decided to feed itself upon my flesh…..arrrrrrrrrrrg. im praying this will heal with antibiotic cream. im not up for another hole in my leg just as this last one is healing. please join me in this prayer. thanks- over and out like a trout with holes in her leg-

meginlea

pray for me today

mlw hearts the Hampton Inn Whitemarsh

Hello!!!!! I’m in Baltimore, over halfway to Boston. Man, the drive today was INTENSE with a capital INTENSE. Wait, that didn’t really make any sense. Anywho-

I waited and left around 9 because Mama didn’t get home from work until 8 a.m. So, I made her some french toast, and we had a lovely breakfast. I suck at making french toast though. I’m not gonna lie. SJ made amazing french toast, but I never learned. I always just made him make it FOR me. Sad day. Anyway, I got on the road and made excellent time. I got to Washington DC around 4:45 including 30 minutes of stopping. (I drank a lot of water to stay hydrated…)- Well, then I sat in traffic and literally completely honestly only went 2 miles in ONE STINKING HOUR. Then I couldn’t remember exactly where I stopped before, or even the area. Finally around 6:45 Steve called and I started freaking out about not knowing where to stop. I was about to cross a toll bridge and didn’t think I crossed that until the second leg of the journey, but he got on my old xanga and told me the name of the town I stayed in from my entry around May 20th. So, I called and found out that I had about 15 more miles to go. Yay- so now I’m back at the Hampton Inn in lovely Whitemarsh. This place is precious, and so clean looking. I got here and checked in and all by 7:30. I thought about getting dinner but I was tired; combine that with the fact that I ate half a bag of doritos while stopped in Washington and I decided to forego dinner for bed.

The most exciting part of my day today was definitely when Abraham decided to spill water all over the freaking car. I rode for about an hour completely wet. I still love him though, and he was just tired of being in his cage and being drugged on medicine.

Well, this update was not nearly as fun as my last hotel room update, but that’s what ya’ get folks. I’m gonna get up in the morning and use the amazing gym here; then it’s off to Boston. I hope to get there by 3. I SEE STEVE AT 6:03 WHEN I PICK HIM UP FROM THE BEVERLY DEPO!!!!!!!!!!!

Things I am looking forward to tomorrow:
– the gym
– continental breakfast
– driving through NYC
– listening to Angels and Demon on CD again
– unpacking my clothes and taking a shower in Folly Hill!
– a real meal
– seeing Dannae and giving her her HK gift
– SEEING MY DANG BOYFRIEND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 60 DAYS!

Things I’m looking forward to tonight:
– sleeping in this huge king size bed with only me, myself, and Abraham who is currently in my lap fighting for my attention

Goodnight fans 🙂
xoxoxo,
meginlea north of baltimore