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NEW BLOG

http://www.meginlea.blogspot.com/

NEW BLOG

This update is solely for your enjoyment. I read this thing in a magazine the other day that said a good way to keep a toned stomach and hips for summer was to use a hula-hoop. It sounded fun. They said it also burned a lot of calories. Plus, if you buy a weighted hula-hoop it’s even better.

Today when at CVS, I saw the cutest pink sparkly hula-hoop for summer. I bought it. I came home. I got all stoked and tried it.

I just learned that I suck at hula-hooping…although I can do some neat tricks with it with my feet, but I’m pretty sure that won’t tone my stomach or hips. Although, if you see me on the beach, do look at my feet. They will be in great shape thanks to my new pink friend!

BYE! :)!!!!!

Good Friday:

This has been a Holy Week I will not soon forget. My time with the Lord has been rich and beautiful. I have experienced a lot of pain in my personal life, and it has only served to bring me that much closer to the Lord. I have seen God’s love for me, the true meaning of the Gospel of loving sinners, through my own love for others. And I’ve seen the price of forgiveness through experiencing the pain of forgiving others and asking the Lord to forgive them. Jesus said “Father forgive them…they know not what they do…” But we so often want to pray God will bring intense justice upon others. The Lord has humbled me, and I feel more than I ever have in my life identified with the death of Christ.

Jesus calls disciples to be identified with His life and His resurrection. Not every Christian accepts the call to be a disciple…but it is a beautiful call. Obedience is hard…but it is right and produces such joy that only comes from Christ. Identified with Jesus death…let’s think about that today on good Friday. How does God want us to die to ourselves? He calls us to do that…die to the life of our will and accept His yoke- He will withhold NO GOOD THING…but what we see as good is not always good. Trust the Lord. He calls for absolute trust…and to be His worker we must die like Him…then only can we live like Him. And I want to live like Christ…and recently He has created in me a spirit that also wants to die like Him.

Is there any other way? We ask this question so often…Lord is there any other way? We feel God calling us to obedience in something but we really really don’t want to do it. It hurts too much. It doesn’t make sense…we say. God’s way, however, is THE BEST WAY. Our way is not the best way unless it is coinciding with God’s…and that only happens when the Spirit of Christ is so born in us that we are in perfect communion with Him. The way God brought redemption to the earth did not seem like the best way to the disciples. Jesus had to die. That was really upsetting for them. Even the soldiers and guards said to Jesus while He was on the cross…”If you are the Son of God like you say, bring yourself down! You can save others but not yourself?” Jesus could have saved Himself. He could have jumped off the cross and said “See I am the Son of God- Worship me!” If I had been there, I would have thought that the best way for God to glorify Himself. But God knew better. He knew that His son must die…and suffer…and then rise again.

Why? Well we can’t really know the mind of God…but just think of a few things:
1. If Jesus had come down off the cross, the people there would have believed maybe…but what about the rest of the generations to come. What is so different about Christianity is that we serve a RISEN SAVIOR. His body rose and was never found. No one hid it…I could write a whole other post about that if you desire…
2. The death of Christ shows us JUST HOW MUCH SIN MEANS….It deserves death. That is how serious it is!!! God’s justice must be met.
3. The death and life of Jesus coincides with the human experience. Following God will not always be easy and happy and peachy because we are human and we don’t understand what is best. The death and resurrection of Christ shows us that!
4. The resurrection only comes after a death…and can we not say that the resurrection is so depictive of God’s power to change lives…to raise people from terrible circumstances and lives. It displays God’s power!

I am so greatful to my God. And I want to die for Him whether literally or metaphorically. I will die to anything that He desires and in any way so that I may live with Him…and maybe I will not be delivered into that “life” even here on earth…but I will be after my physical death. I love my Lord. I love Him so dearly. I never knew a relationship like this could be possible between me and God. I grew up knowing of Him and hearing of Him and got “saved” at 7 years old….oh but it is so real to me now. It is so real! The realness has come out of much pain and suffering and death…in these things I have seen God. I have felt the utmost rejection and I have felt God ask me to give Him the very things that I love most in the world. It has been so hard…but I know that I am only human. And God is working for HIS glory and for my good. His glory and my good are achieved by ways that I don’t always understand…by ways that sometimes cause me momentary or lasting pain. But I would have life no other way than this…I love you my Lord. I praise you for Good Friday! I praise you for Your death. I offer my entire being to You. Take my life Lord and let it be consecrated Lord to thee…

Peace of Christ to you brothers and sisters! May you know the joy that comes through the DEATH and the LIFE of Christ- amen

Snow and God

Today I sat by the window and watched the snow falling. It was not the most beautiful snow in the world as it was mixed with rain which made it hard to see the flakes sometimes… but I could see them. It was the type of snow where if you concentrated on it you could see it for just a second as it passed the trees in the background…but then your eyes blur and you can’t see it anymore… so you have to concentrate again and THEN YOU GET IT…but only for a second. I did this for a while… over and over again and thought-

Isn’t this how it is with the God sometimes? Well, it is for me. I don’t know how holy that is or not, but I find myself seeking God in the midst of a life filled with clouds…and I have moments of REAL clarity when I completely abandon and the peace of Christ floods me. It’s unexplainable, and the circumstances of life don’t matter…and the pain at its hardest is completely bearable, and I’m not worried… and the future though totally unknown is so secure to me…not frightening…there is not a shadow of despair because I KNOW MY REDEEMER LIVES… but then it flees. Satan comes in with a memory or a cold hard dirty fact staring me in the face…life comes in with what is required and a reminder of what I don’t have and all the sudden I’m wet from the snow…and I’m cold and I don’t see God….I know it’s snowing but I can’t see the flakes…I know God is there…I know it… but I don’t feel it. I believe God is there but the pain is too much and the clouds too dark and I can’t even think of what I should ask God for because I wonder if He isn’t like a jeanie with a three wish limit and … honestly … I just want God and I want God’s will but I am weak human being who doesn’t like it that God’s will often asks us if we will be wet and cold for Him.

Good thing the jeanie view of God is completly wrong….

And good thing that even when I don’t know what to pray for, my Lord Jesus is interceding for me. And so that’s when I wait and get pushing through and keep seeking Him because I know in a minute I’ll finally see the snowflakes again and maybe this time I’ll see them for longer than a second… and maybe one day it will stop snowing for a few minutes. It always does…it stops just long enough for me to recharge. God’s mercies are new every morning…and I go to bed every night knowing that if He were that jeanie guy, I would have tapped Him out.

In other thoughts… It is interesting how we are made as humans with the desire to really be known… really known. It’s an inherent longing. Heck, if we didn’t want to be known … why would any of us really have journals of any sort, online or tangible? I used to think that marriage would solve that longing… that one day I’d meet a man who would really know me and love me and complete me. That’s what the movies tell us… and that’s what the happy high school couples tell us… right? I’m glad I’ve since learned that although marriages built upon the Lord Jesus Christ are satisfying and beautiful (and lots of hard work I hear), they are not what will ultimately know us in that way. A married friend of mine told me that she was utterly shocked because she entered marriage having grown up as a Christian woman…and thought that finally she would REALLY be known by someone… they would really get her. She saved herself sexually for marriage as had her husband… but, strangely enough… she found herself disappointed by marriage. It wasn’t that her husband wasn’t (isn’t) amazing or that marriage wasn’t (isn’t) a blessing… but she still longed… she still needed and desired. That was when she finally realized that her need and longing and desire would be satisfied only in the Lord Jesus Christ…and that it drove her to Him.

He is really the only one who ever truly knows any of us. And that is what marriage reflects, obviously, as when it goes as the Lord designed it, our husband or wife knows us so much more intimately than anyone… and as I hear, that’s a good thing…it’s something I really look forward to and pray that God has for me some day. But, we were not made for people…we were not made to glorify people or ourselves or to complete people…we were made to glorify God…for His good pleasure…

and I’d like to just ask one question: why would any of us think we could ever be content or find the utmost joy unless we were doing what we were made to do??

People who excell in an area like music or sports or writing or teaching or counseling or caring or … fill in the blank … say they feel the most joy or the most satisfaction (in the smaller sense of the words) when doing those things. That is because that is what their gifts are… that’s what they were made to do, in a sense. But ultimately we are ALL made to glorify God through whatever we do…whatever we eat or drink (ICor 10:31)… A piano does not good at producing music written solely with a guitar or a violin in mind… it isn’t the same. I do no good glorifying myself or other people only… that is not my aim. I’m not as beautiful or functional unless I’m glorifying my God.

So (to tie my wandering thoughts together)… I seek to glorify God. Right now the cup the Lord has presented me with includes a lot of pain and a lot of unknown and uncertainty. Some days its hard to just do the normal stuff like reading and writing and going to class because the pain and sadness overwhelms me…the confusion overwhelms me… the rejection and lost hope overwhelms me. I have a dear friend who is encountering so much physical body pain right now and so much complete life change that she often feels the same way… But this is where God has us for this time. And no circumstance is outside of our Lord’s control…and I DO BELIEVE He works in them all for His ultimate glory and for our good. He NEVER NEVER forsakes us…and He loves us more than we can even imagine. Think of who you love most in the world…God loves you more than that. So with these cups we have right now, whether they be filled with sweet or sour drink, let us dedicate them to the Lord and seek His face. Let us give our lives wholly to Him and allow Him to glorify Himself. Heck…pray that He will!!! And let us say like our Savior in the garden:
“What shall I say then? Lord, save me from this hour? No! It is for this hour that I have come.”

It is for this hour Lord that You have brought me here. I pray that these cups may pass us, but not our will God… only Thine our dear Creator…

I’m going back to the snow watching for now. It’s gotten much thicker… and much easier to see.

Sin

Recently I’ve been discovering just how much our sin affects other people. Wow. We can be so careless. I must admit, I’ve only realized this because of how deeply I’ve been sinned against, but it has definitely helped me discover the many ways I have sinned against others and what it has done, could have done, perhaps has done to them. I also see the way we treat the Lord… how we completely do not consider Him, and how we reject Him. Wow. As men and women of Christ, we have a responsibility to love each other and to put each other before ourselves. How much hurt and sin could be avoided if we could really do this? A lot I believe. And you know whats even harder, loving the person and putting them first when they are the one sinning against you and hurting you and not repenting. Now that my friend is a challenge. But we must let that challenge identify us more with Christ. Did He not love us and give His very life for us WHILE WE WERE SINNERS and despite of our sin? Yes, he did.

So pray for my heart as I try not to be angry and try not to take revenge or desire revenge upon those who have sinned against me intentionally or unintentionally. And pray for me as I seek restitution and reconciliation to those that I have hurt so deeply. And may we all praise the Lord for loving us and let His love be what drives us to become more like Him and display His love to others.

Life is hard…thats why to live is Christ, and for the Believer, to die is gain. The one hope that I do have is that our God is a God of redemption, and although I do not always feel His redemption or see how He is redeeming things, He has told us that He works out all the sin and all the hurt for His good- He redeems it all. So God, be near to me as I ask you to search me and reveal to me the sins I have sinned against others and those they have against me. I pray that you redeem these things, specific things in my heart of which you know. The pain is deep, but you know pain as you bore it for me. The seering loss…

God, may the power of Your cross redeem our lives, not only from hell in death but from hell in life. Redeem us Lord, and glorify Yourself for Your sake and ours.

“Revive me. Revive me not for me but for Your name and Your glory, deliver me from my enemies…Revive me.” -Shane and Shane

That’s all for now.

Yesterday was a discouraging day. I was overwhelmed all day and it is because of my own sin. Truth be told, all my emotional turmoil stems from my own sin. Please pray for me, that I will be filled with the peace of Christ and freed from the pain and bondage, that I will continually put off the old and joyfully accept the new, that I may clearly discern the Lord’s path for me and be so content with His way of achieving His glory. That I may accept all with joy and bear it. Life is hard my friends, and I’ve got it easy.

meginlea

I wrote this one a while back- last semester actually, but the Scriptural truth of its words comfort me today as much or more as they did when I first wrote them down, and I was reminded of this song when reading a comment of my post previous today. So- here they are. I hope they can be comfort to you. I praise God for His truth.

the references are to John 11 at the resurrection of Lazarus and the story of Jesus calming the storm although I can’t think of the reference right now-

Still: John 11’s song
The silence was deafening. Mary and Martha waited at the tomb.
They’d sought Jesus and didn’t know what else to do.
It’s in the silence and it’s in the wait…
that our Lord raises the dead, Oh us of little faith.

Be still and know that He is God. Peace be still and know that He is God.

The Lord slept as the storm raged; the disciples cried, “we’ll all be lost at see.
Unless we wake Him, what will be come of you and me?”
So Jesus calmed the wind, and my Jesus calmed the sea.
Oh us of little faith, we do not recognize our King.

Be still and know that He is God. Peace be still and know that He is God.

So I will wait upon the Lord though I cannot understand.
But wisdom not of this world, Jesus’ Spirit gives…
to all those God calls children.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God. Peace be still and know… Brother, Sister, join me! Be still, and know that I am God.”

My God My God, let me not be disgraced but for Your Name

“In quietness and confidence is your strength.” This is a verse from Isaiah 30. The Lord is beckoning the people to turn to Him and asking them to trust Him. He is expressing His desire to be compassionate toward them but asking them to give up their idols and their own agendas. I have been contemplating this entire passage since January. At first, it really convicted me of my attitude and of the way I try to get things accomplished myself. I seek the Lord for His will and His help to do what “I” want to do. I was convicted to quit “acting” so much and start waiting upon the Lord. My strength comes in my quietness before Him and His will for His glory.

But

I am now experiencing the Holy Spirit’s revealing of more of what this little verse is exhorting. My mind is NOT quiet before God. Even if I am “quiet” on the outside, my mind must also come under submission of Him. This means not obsessing or dwelling on speculations of what will be and when it will be and how it will be and what the best thing to do is in following Him to make it be. Quietness means letting our requests be made known to God, our anxieties and our praises, and then quieting our minds. That is where rest comes, in letting go in our minds and letting the Spirit of God bring the peace that passes all understanding.

Now, I have seen in my own life, that this peace of God’s spirit and the quietness of the mind cannot come until I surrender tangible actions; nonetheless, it is what is on the inside that counts.

Right now I am in perplexing situations all around, and I can’t tell you what my life will look like at all even 2 months from now. I have no clue. People would exhort me to be doing all sorts of things right now and not doing all sorts of things, and they are all correct. Each suggestion would be wise…nonetheless, I am only peaceful right now sitting at the throne of my Savior, seeking Him in prayer, and saying “God, illuminate what YOU suggest, what YOU desire for YOUR sake.” I really understand Peter’s words about Jesus being the only one with the words of life…but I don’t sit before Him right now because I want His words even. I sit before Him because I just want Him. I just sit quietly-

Come Lord Jesus, Come.

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine, and he was asking me if I ever find it hard not to be bitter about the things it seems I’ve had to give up to follow Christ (albiet they are small in comparison to some). He said he struggles with bitterness. Bitterness and self-pity are lies that Satan whispers in our ears to tell us that God is NOT really good. Truth be told- God is always good, even when our lives seem in havoc. Anyway, sometimes us Christians can get really caught up in what we want and what we desire and how it seems that following God often leads us directly away from those things. I wrote this song in response to this feeling because, honestly, what have we to lose in this world? We may lose family, relationships, jobs, health…etc- but this is still a world where we live with a heel that Genesis tells us was bruised by Satan. What we have to remember and let resonate in our hearts is that Jesus Christ has crushed the serpent’s head. In this life, all we really have to lose is the bruised heel under the blood and grace of Jesus Christ. Praise and glory be to Him. I’m singing this in church this morning. Pray that the people will hear the word of God and be changed by it.

Bruise:

You do all things well my God
and I lift up my eyes to my tower of strength
You laid down your rights and your life
to raise me up to glory to be your wife

So what have I to fear?
And what have I to lose
And what have I to lay down
But a heel thats all ready bruised

This world has brought me joy and brought me pain
and yet I look around and see all I’ve yet to gain
but held up to the measure of your grace
all my worldly wealth becomes my shame

So what have I to fear

And what have I to lose

And what have I to lay down
except a broken life that I have misused

But a heel thats all ready bruised

Fallen man, now is your time to choose
a fallen world or a God to strike the head and heal the bruise

So what have you to fear
and what have you to lose
and what really do you have to lay down
but a broken life you’ve probably misused
because of a bunch of Satan’s lies dressed up as the truth
in opposition to the mighty Good News
of a God to heal the bruise.

P.S. I’m REALLY tired of studying. I am NOT learning the map for theology of the pentateuch… and I’m NOT doing anymore Greek today- and I’m only HALFWAY learning the ancient near eastern texts. So there- take that!

Yeah, I pay for these classes!