Yesterday was a discouraging day. I was overwhelmed all day and it is because of my own sin. Truth be told, all my emotional turmoil stems from my own sin. Please pray for me, that I will be filled with the peace of Christ and freed from the pain and bondage, that I will continually put off the old and joyfully accept the new, that I may clearly discern the Lord’s path for me and be so content with His way of achieving His glory. That I may accept all with joy and bear it. Life is hard my friends, and I’ve got it easy.

meginlea

I wrote this one a while back- last semester actually, but the Scriptural truth of its words comfort me today as much or more as they did when I first wrote them down, and I was reminded of this song when reading a comment of my post previous today. So- here they are. I hope they can be comfort to you. I praise God for His truth.

the references are to John 11 at the resurrection of Lazarus and the story of Jesus calming the storm although I can’t think of the reference right now-

Still: John 11’s song
The silence was deafening. Mary and Martha waited at the tomb.
They’d sought Jesus and didn’t know what else to do.
It’s in the silence and it’s in the wait…
that our Lord raises the dead, Oh us of little faith.

Be still and know that He is God. Peace be still and know that He is God.

The Lord slept as the storm raged; the disciples cried, “we’ll all be lost at see.
Unless we wake Him, what will be come of you and me?”
So Jesus calmed the wind, and my Jesus calmed the sea.
Oh us of little faith, we do not recognize our King.

Be still and know that He is God. Peace be still and know that He is God.

So I will wait upon the Lord though I cannot understand.
But wisdom not of this world, Jesus’ Spirit gives…
to all those God calls children.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God. Peace be still and know… Brother, Sister, join me! Be still, and know that I am God.”

My God My God, let me not be disgraced but for Your Name

“In quietness and confidence is your strength.” This is a verse from Isaiah 30. The Lord is beckoning the people to turn to Him and asking them to trust Him. He is expressing His desire to be compassionate toward them but asking them to give up their idols and their own agendas. I have been contemplating this entire passage since January. At first, it really convicted me of my attitude and of the way I try to get things accomplished myself. I seek the Lord for His will and His help to do what “I” want to do. I was convicted to quit “acting” so much and start waiting upon the Lord. My strength comes in my quietness before Him and His will for His glory.

But

I am now experiencing the Holy Spirit’s revealing of more of what this little verse is exhorting. My mind is NOT quiet before God. Even if I am “quiet” on the outside, my mind must also come under submission of Him. This means not obsessing or dwelling on speculations of what will be and when it will be and how it will be and what the best thing to do is in following Him to make it be. Quietness means letting our requests be made known to God, our anxieties and our praises, and then quieting our minds. That is where rest comes, in letting go in our minds and letting the Spirit of God bring the peace that passes all understanding.

Now, I have seen in my own life, that this peace of God’s spirit and the quietness of the mind cannot come until I surrender tangible actions; nonetheless, it is what is on the inside that counts.

Right now I am in perplexing situations all around, and I can’t tell you what my life will look like at all even 2 months from now. I have no clue. People would exhort me to be doing all sorts of things right now and not doing all sorts of things, and they are all correct. Each suggestion would be wise…nonetheless, I am only peaceful right now sitting at the throne of my Savior, seeking Him in prayer, and saying “God, illuminate what YOU suggest, what YOU desire for YOUR sake.” I really understand Peter’s words about Jesus being the only one with the words of life…but I don’t sit before Him right now because I want His words even. I sit before Him because I just want Him. I just sit quietly-

Come Lord Jesus, Come.

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine, and he was asking me if I ever find it hard not to be bitter about the things it seems I’ve had to give up to follow Christ (albiet they are small in comparison to some). He said he struggles with bitterness. Bitterness and self-pity are lies that Satan whispers in our ears to tell us that God is NOT really good. Truth be told- God is always good, even when our lives seem in havoc. Anyway, sometimes us Christians can get really caught up in what we want and what we desire and how it seems that following God often leads us directly away from those things. I wrote this song in response to this feeling because, honestly, what have we to lose in this world? We may lose family, relationships, jobs, health…etc- but this is still a world where we live with a heel that Genesis tells us was bruised by Satan. What we have to remember and let resonate in our hearts is that Jesus Christ has crushed the serpent’s head. In this life, all we really have to lose is the bruised heel under the blood and grace of Jesus Christ. Praise and glory be to Him. I’m singing this in church this morning. Pray that the people will hear the word of God and be changed by it.

Bruise:

You do all things well my God
and I lift up my eyes to my tower of strength
You laid down your rights and your life
to raise me up to glory to be your wife

So what have I to fear?
And what have I to lose
And what have I to lay down
But a heel thats all ready bruised

This world has brought me joy and brought me pain
and yet I look around and see all I’ve yet to gain
but held up to the measure of your grace
all my worldly wealth becomes my shame

So what have I to fear

And what have I to lose

And what have I to lay down
except a broken life that I have misused

But a heel thats all ready bruised

Fallen man, now is your time to choose
a fallen world or a God to strike the head and heal the bruise

So what have you to fear
and what have you to lose
and what really do you have to lay down
but a broken life you’ve probably misused
because of a bunch of Satan’s lies dressed up as the truth
in opposition to the mighty Good News
of a God to heal the bruise.

P.S. I’m REALLY tired of studying. I am NOT learning the map for theology of the pentateuch… and I’m NOT doing anymore Greek today- and I’m only HALFWAY learning the ancient near eastern texts. So there- take that!

Yeah, I pay for these classes!

PTL- I got the infectious disease doctor to call me in some meds! Awesome. Take that most recent outbreak of MRSA which is by far one of my worst outbreaks yet. Lets just pray now that I didn’t catch it too late. I am NOT all up for another hole being cut into my body!!!!!!!!!!

And seriously- this is a ‘praise the Lord’ issue because I never get them to call in meds this quick, and this morning I just called the hospital and was immediately able to speak with a doctor who doesn’t even know me (hasn’t ever seen me) and he was so willing to call me in meds. He didn’t think I was an addict. But then again, who gets addicted to bactrim??? Anyway- It’s bad this time, so I’m so thankful Jesus orchestrated circumstances to get me some medicine very quickly. Thanks to all you peoples I contacted last night and asked to pray for me.
:)!!!!!!!!!!!!
m

p.s. Derek- I’m updating just for you. See how much love I have for you??? now come sleep on my futon!

What does it mean “to live is Christ…”? I have been pondering a lot recently what exactly it means to live as resurrected with Christ Jesus.

Obviously that means that first something must die. I can’t live for Christ Jesus if I am living for Megin Lea. The problems arise in that letting MeginLea and all her desires die is hard. I don’t mean to present the life as a Christian as one of legalistic self-discipline…I just mean to say that as a person who is less than human (assuming that the original humans -adam and eve- had a choice whether or not to sin and i was sinful in my mother’s womb) I desire so much that comes from me wanting to find satisfaction and glory for myself and outside of Jesus. Dying to self is a first step in living with Christ. And might I just say that I conquer this dying to self all the time, and every day I wake up and battle it. It’s never really over, and I don’t think it will be until I am in glory with my Savior. I sure want to be like Jesus in his glory and strength, but what about in his suffering? It’s not as pretty- thus I don’t like it. Although, I can’t help but think that if we Christians were meant to go through lives that never gave rise to suffering or anxiety or worries or fear then there would not be admonitions in the bible about what to do when those arise and how to rejoice in them. So, here’s to death because it’s a necessary step AND it brings me closer to Jesus.

There is no other life that I’d rather live and no other death I’d rather die, than to live my life to Jesus and joyfully let my will be crucified. -amen