la la la it’s a beautiful day. Ok, I just sounded a lot like my Chinese students. Anyway, I tried to update last night from the GODdard library, but it wouldn’t let me. It was gonna be a good update. My devo this morning was on Colossians 3. That is some good stuff man. I don’t have time to type it all up. Classes=stressing me out. Today I’m wearing shorts though. I am boycotting the early fall that we get here in Mass, so I don’t care if I catch my death of cold…I will not start dressing warmly.  Who am I kidding, I have all ready been looking for the long underwear. Ok, I’ll type more better amazing interesting things later. What should I say about my OMP trip at OMP chapel. I have 2 minutes…yeah, that makes sense. Maybe I just wont speak. Bye! Time to study Muslims!

Ok that was earlier. This is now. My computer is being very slow at doing anything. Islam was great. I got to pray today. I don’t mind praying in class, but Dr. T has this ability to catch people COMPLETELY off guard. I think I was in the midst of a conversation with Neal about Blackboard and stealing muffins and all the sudden, “Meegin, could you pray for us?” I say Mee because that’s how he says my name. It doesn’t help correcting. Actually, I love Dr. Tennent to death, but he can’t pronounce the name Megin, Megan, or Meghan to save his dang life :).

After class I ate lunch outside in the lovely day. I ended up NOT rebelling because it was so warm and sunny out today, like around 70. Oh well. I managed to get myself made fun of or laughed at during the entire meal, which is great. Plus, I don’t have to do much to get Black Cho to laugh at me, to get Natasha to point and make those knowing eyes, or to get Steve to laugh his butt off. What can I say, I’m….gifted?

I’ve been reading for applied anthropology all day. I just finished sending out an email with stuff for the OMP chapel on it, and now I’m gonna do greek. Tonight I’ll go chat with my mel-dawg, go to greek, and then relax and watch the recording of America’s Next Top Model.

By the way- I’m pissed. They changed actors for Sean on Days of our Lives. That is ridic!

meginlea

This morning I did part of my devotion from Psalm 27. It’s a lot to type, and I don’t have that much time before chapel, but some of it just really convicted me and then completely uplifted me.

Vs. 2: The Lord is the stronghold of my lfie. So often I work on trying to abolish strongholds in my life, mortify flesh. We all have strongholds, those things that we worship or come dangerously close to worshipping in place of and more than God…or even alongside of God. But, David is saying here that GOD is our strongholds. Strongholds themselves aren’t bad…but they need to be all piled up into Jesus!

Vs. 4: There was a time when I wondered how David could write these words…that the one thing he seeks if he could seek one thing is to dwell in the house of the Lord. My friends, do I ever understand those words. Our Lord is sweeter satisfaction and more merciful than anything I could ever imagine. We needn’t fear trouble- not trouble won’t come, but we need not fear it. Because our Lord hides us in Him, conceals us, and lifts us.

Oh God hear my voice and be merciful to me. You asked me to seek your face, and my heart cries out, your face is what I seek!

These words are beautiful: “do not hide your face from me; do not turn your servant away in anger. you have been my helper. do not reject me or fosake me…” and he doesn’t.

Lord Jesus, teach me your way; lead me in a straight path, Your straight path.

And my final complete conviction: The last few verses: I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord: be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
-Ok, so recently I’ve been praying about something kind of specific and seeking the Lord’s will. I find that much of my time with the Lord centers around His theme of “wait for me.” So this morning…I said, “Ok, God but so is waiting for you doing option A….or is waiting for you doing option B?? Which option is waiting??? Because I will wait, but I don’t know which of those to do!??!!” And then all the sudden it hit me, and I think it’s safe to say it was the Holy Spirits conviction….and it made sense…..

….lightbulb moment….

waiting for the Lord is, for me…in this situation-i’m not giving universal advice for all your lives…. just that, waiting and letting Him show me. It may not even be option A or option B because my mind is so simple and can’t contemplate or understand all that is my Savior. So…waiting is ummmm……..waiting. :).

Now, this does not mean that I won’t continue to seek Jesus in regards to this situation (which actually is a minor situation … no life or death here people- just sharing some Holy Spirit word of God revelation); rather, what it means is that I can quit stinking trying to make my worldview of options and right and wrong and cause and effect fit into the Lord’s will as revealed and accomplished each day.

All right, well maybe I’m just too reformed for my own good, but a las, I have many wonderful reformed friends who love me regardless of how five points I get…and I’m pretty sure the Lord knows I mean well.

Have a great Tuesday. I’m off to chapel, Islam, studying all afternoon, and then greek.

God Bless!
meginlea

life in my world:

Yes, I’m aware. I have been terrible at updating the past few weeks. I blame it on school. I’m stressed. Anyway- the past week has been good. When was the 19th? I don’t know when I last updated? I guess I’ll just talk about my last few days.
Friday I skipped class to study and clean. I wanted to clean my apartment. I hadn’t cleaned since I moved in. I love that I can clean it and it stays clean. Living alone is really a  lot of fun; I’m not gonna lie. Then I went down to the mission with Sabrina and Steve where I led the service. Ok, i admit, I freaked out at first when the room wasn’t set up and all the furniture was gone and S and S were a half hour late, but I finally calmed down when I locked myself in Lynn’s office to cry and then prayed :). Jesus is sweet isn’t he, never letting me think I can do stuff on my own and always bringing it to my attention when I am. So..I had a mini little breakdown and a minibuild up and then everything was beautiful. I praise Him for how the service fit together. I never really talked with Dr. Padia or Tyler about what they would talk about, but the testimony and the sermon and then the music all flowed so wonderfully. It was like, God was in control of it all :). I guess He was? ! I really love those people down there, and I love praying for them. God bless the Boston Rescue Mission.

Saturday I spent the entire freaking day in the dang library. I was supposed to go up there around 11, do some research, and then do my other homework. Well, at 5 p.m. I finally left having just finished finding books and articles for 2 research papers but not having read a word or even started to touch the creation of a topic for my third research paper. uhhh- yes, these papers are due not until November, but the thesises are due in like a week or so and I have to do research to figure out what I’m going to write about, and I have to have sources submitted with the thesis…SOOOOOOOOO- Anyway. After that I went home and kinda vegged because I was going insane. Then Steve and I ate the most amazing food in the entire world at Alchemy. I had a cuban jerk chicken salad, and I seriously don’t think I’ve eaten food that amazing in a long freaking time. It was almost as good as yaogwa jiding in Tibet !  After dinner, I hit the hay, but I didn’t sleep very well.

Sunday was church, and then I went to Panera to study. Well half of GC campus was at Panera since the library is closed on Sunday. We were there at Panera from 2 in the afternoon till 8:30. Then S and I went to the grocery store and catacombs. Catacombs was amazing. I can’t believe I hardly went last year.

Ok- so that’s that. I’ve got a lot of work to do. I’m gonna try my best to read at least 80 pages a day. I need to do research, but I have so much other reading on top of that. Uhhh- I’m stressing. I need to just realize that it is not about grades but about gleaning what Jesus wants to use in my ministry. I mean, I realize that daily, but it’s a continual surrender, ya’ know?

All right, that’s all for now. Sorry this was not a well-thought out update. I’m trying to take notes in class at the same time. yes, I’m in class. I know…I’m terrilbe :(!

Love,
Meginlea
Psalm of the Day which I am pretty sure King David wrote after God reigned down a copy of my future journal for the summer through September of 2006… 🙂

PSALM 32:
Blessed is the one whose trangression is forgiven, whose sin is COVERED.
Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts NO iniquity and whose spirit there is no deceit.
For
when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day
long. For day and night your hand was HEAVY upon me; my strength was
dried up as by the heat of the summer. Selah.

I acknowledged my sin to You, and I did not cover my iniquity; I
said “I will confess my trangressions to the Lord,” and You forgave the
iniquity of my sin Selah!
Therefore let everyone who is godly offer
prayer to you at a time when You may be found; surely in the rush of
great waters, they shall not reach him.

YOU are my HIDING PLACE; You PRESERVE me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverane Selah!
(then… the Lord says)
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

Be NOT like a horse or a mule, without understanding which must be
curbed by bit and bridle or it will not stay near you (how long I have
been that!)
many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love
surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord. Be glad in the Lord, and
rejoice.

O righteous and shout for joy!!! all you upright in heart!

So the reason for the xanga lock thing which some of you who have had to sign in to read this may have found out is because I had a weird xanga stalker actually call me. Hrmm…verily strange; I’m not gonna lie. Anyway-

I also have not been that enthusiastic about writing much lately. Sorry about that. I go through phases.
Update:
classes- time consuming…i need concentration
mind- always going…having trouble sleeping b/c i think too much
health- well it was good but is poor again. go to doctor again tomorrow- please pray for healing…i don’t want to go into the hospital

I’m sorry I don’t write more. My real journal though- now that is flooded.

Psalm 62 has been my prayer so much lately. It is a good one. Look it up. Today I sat in silence in my room for about 45 minutes…complete silence, minus Abraham purring. I don’t think I’ve experienced that much peace in a very long time. It started off not peaceful. It started off with tears. It ended with peace. I just thought- Lord, I’m gonna do exactly what this psalm says. It was beautiful.

Psalm 123. That one is also pretty tight. I put it to music today. BTW- I’m heading up all the music at the BRM this weekend. I’m super stoked about that one, not gonna lie. I feel bad though. I’m in charge of music and I”m going to do a “special” music. Is that selfish of me? I don’t know.

Ok, well I’m gonna read some for Islam, but not the boring Islam book. Katie and I both agree to “set that one aside” for the time being. We are going to read about Islamic women ! Yay!

Tonight during greek, I did all the homework for the next 4 chapters. I am seriously thinking I should not have signed up for this class. It’s a nice break though. I get credit, and I have to do no work outside of class b/c I can do my work in class. BTW- this isn’t because I’m just way smart…I had greek in undergrad. I’m taking this as a refresher, but so far everything is coming back extremely quickly.

Ok, goodnight, sleep tight…haha at first i wrote tights. funny.

love,
meginlea (or white megin if your name is Cho)

p.s. shout out to Mr. Marky who sent me an awesome video that brought me to tears and made me smile :)!

Happy Saturday. I’m watching a movie. Today, I read 100 pages and did Greek homework. I also cleaned and ran and worked out. I was super proud of that. Hmmm I suppose there is not a whole lot to report.

Last night I went down to the mission. It was incredible. I don’t know why I don’t feel like updating.

I might stop xanga for a while. Something weird happened the other night. WGC, can you show me how to make my xanga private or like to where only a few people can see it?

Ok, that’s all for now. I hope you have a great weekend. Yesterday was Cynthia’s birthday, and I love her! It’s only one month till my bday, and less than that till WGC comes to visit. Yay!

xoxoxoxo,
meginlea

Good morning everyone. I hope you are all doing well. So, I
have had each of my classes for this semester. One of them is semlink, but I
pretty much know the syllabus. Anyway, I really REALLY love all my classes, but
it is going to be a hard semester. I am taking 1) Applied Anthropology for
Missions, 2) Islam, 3) Greek, 4) History of Missions, 5) and Life of Jesus. So
far each of the classes has all ready been so inspiring, and the reading, wow
is incredible. BUT…I have 4 research papers, one for each class. And, I have
3,000 pages of reading for Islam and Applied Anthropology. I haven’t added up
the readings for Life of Jesus, and the History of Missions is not as much. Dr.
Lee is really pretty cool. I wasn’t that impressed when he came last year and
taught Buddhism a few days, but he is pretty tight. I’m not gonna lie. History
of Missions this morning was both academic and informative and convicting as
hell. I think I’m gonna be spending a lot of time in the library this semester.
Five classes! Ahh..and I’m not taking any pass/fail this time. I will save that
for my last semester. Right now I have two main objectives…or maybe three:

1.      to
know Christ more deeply and intimately

2.      to
discover where He wants me ministering

3.      to
work to the best of my ability in school

I am taking a sort of different perspective to school this
year, however. In years past I have freaked out about grades and worked solely
for the good grade. This semester, I’m not really worried. I don’t really care
that much. My focus is more about learning and soaking up what Jesus has
blessed me with. The A is not as important as the growth, and when I
concentrate upon the A, I miss a lot of the learning. I don’t want to waste my
last year of seminary to get a grade so I can pat myself on the back. That is
not where my definition comes. I’m not saying it’s not good to desire good
grades and to work hard, but it became a sin to me. Jesus has been revealing so
much sin in my life recently, it is only natural that I am convicted of this.
Jesus give me the ability to say no when the lies of the enemy threaten me and
my type-A personality pushes me and stresses me to where I neglect what You
want. I want to listen to you Jesus. I want to hear you. Come meet with me.

 

Recently I have really enjoyed my solitude with the Lord.
The weather has been beautiful here, and I’ve taken much time to just sit
outside and pray and read or go for walks. It is a freeing and beautiful place
to have one’s hope completely in the Lord, not even in what one would want the
Lord to do or bless but just in the Lord. Psalm 30 really reflects my heart and
feelings at the moment. Sometimes are harder than others, and I find myself
pretty sad, but those times are times that I can seek Jesus so purely. I can
stand before him purely and beseech Him, and He comes.

 

Health Update: I’ve been to the doctor everyday this week.
So far so good. The incision seems to be healing, and the new antibiotics seem
to be working. Today is my last appt until Monday. On Monday they will change
my antibiotics. I pray that God will continue healing my body. I haven’t had
any more new legions, and my eye swelling has decreased a lot. Join me in these
prayers for my health please.

 

Today I met some new girls on campus who are first years but
around my age. They seem pretty sweet. I am praying for Jesus to send strong
women of dignity into my life. I am praying for a new small group. I am praying
for Jesus’ purposes for me to be revealed to me. I am praying that I may
discern my part in His ministry right now around me.

 

Bryant may be coming up here for a few weeks. Things are
pretty rough for him right now. Please pray for him. Mama may have someone who
wants to buy her house. She has to figure out where to move to quick though. That
would be fun, to have B here. I hope he cleans up after himself.

 

Today I need to go to the grocery store. I’ve been putting
it off for a while. Ok, that’s all for now. I will update again later…maybe
from class…J.
Leave some love.

 

xoxoxo,

meginlea

 

Lord go before me; lest I fall, Lord fight for me; What care
I if the world despise me? When Lord, it’s your son’s blood that defends me…

 When the call of all vain things
Sounds in my ear so sweet
Speak the psalms of misery
To bring me back to thee.
When the dark night of the soul closes in
And I am trapped in utter despair,
And even when I feel so strong
Still remind me Lord that You are there

 When I’m weak; when I’m lost
And my sin threatens to overtake.
I cry in agony
Lord you know when I will break.
When I haven’t the strength
To say no just one more time
And I haven’t the faith
To stand up to the demons in my mind

 Lord go before me; lest I fall, Lord will you fight for me;
What loss have I if the world despise me? When Lord, it’s your Son’s blood that
defends me.

 Turn my eyes to your scars
To your pierced side.
Living water pour forth
Jesus, my God, rise….

And Lord go before me; lest I fall, I know you will fight
for me; What loss have I if the world despise me? When Lord, it is You who
defends me!

Sometimes things happen for a reason. I found myself midweek thinking, “I don’t know how in the world I could ever get through this week without my mother here…!” Then I realized, I couldn’t. That’s why she WAS here. God knows how much we can and can’t handle. Before the beginning of time (that’s for you Derek), God ordained my mother to be here that week. I know that sounds strong, but if you really believe the Bible you do believe God is sovereign. Anyway, her being here was amazing and healing and restorative on so many levels. I didn’t really know what God had in store for her and I…ultimately for Himself because He gets the glory….during her visit. There was so much restoration between the two of us. It’s strange to think that for the past 2 years at least our relationship has been troubled and all because of our own sins. I wish I could go into extensive details, but a las, you would be bored I’m sure. Jesus is a beautiful savior though, and if the entire summer was orchestrated with all its ups and downs just to give my mother and I the last 5 days we had, I’d do it all over again. Now, of course I do not believe that all the events that led up to this week were so my mother and I could have these 5 days together, but it is just an emphasis point I’d like to stress. Anyway, for now I’m gonna clean up some. My apartments a little messy as Mama has become less OCD in her older age, and then I’m gonna go read at Panera before heading off to Catacombs. I’m excited to spend some time worshipping the great Lord of life who beckons me to Him at all times.

Lata alligatas-
love,
meginlea

Happy Saturday evening my friends. I’m about to turn in early because I’m getting up super duper early to go to church in the morning. Mama leaves tomorrow afternoon. We are gonna go to church and then to Salem. I’ve really enjoyed her visit. I think we’ve bonded a lot this week, and I’m ever so greatful for this time. I think she really enjoyed herself too, or at least she says she has. She tried a lot of new food and seriously loved going to all the New Englandy touristy places. Mama has never really done stuff like that before. :). She’s precious. She helped me put up curtains and finish off some stuff with my apartment, and as usual, set me up with a random guy we met at Bed Bath and Beyond…although this time the guy did try to pick me up before Mama did match making. I think I have accidently lost his number though. Oops. haha- that’s my Mama for ya!

Tonight was the clambake. GCTS seriously needs to rethink how to handle this event. The lines were insane. Billy and I just roamed around for about an hour and a half or so and never ate. It was fun though, during which time he told me that I was probably ruining his game by intimidating any girls interested in him. haha- I’m sure that wasn’t the case…simply because girls at GCTS don’t go for guys as old as B ;). j/k

Health update: tbd. I have a doctors appt. on Monday. I’m working on getting a female to go with me. I’m gonna need a hand to squeeze when they pull the guaze out of my new incision and possibly insert more. It hurts pretty bad. SOOO- if you’re a female here in B-town and wanna be some moral support…I’d appreciate it beyond stinking belief. And, I promise to help you ice your hand after I’m finished with it! :). I’m praying God will provide.

Prayer request: that the antibiotics will heal me without me having to be placed in the hospital on IV drugs
– that I would get motivated for school (im sure that goes for everyone actually)
– mama’s safe flights home
– continual discernment and the ability to trust Jesus (prbbly generic for all ya’ll too)!

Looking forward to the new year, especially Greek class which is gonna be off the ch-zain! I can’t believe I just typed that. I should backspace, but I won’t for your simple pleasures.

Leave some lovin’ or stop by the new crib. I need a digital camera so I can post pics of it!

Love,
meginlea

COUNTDOWN TO WGC- 25 DAYS!

New NEWS: I have MRSA. Don’t worry. You won’t get it…anywho- it’s good to know what I have. They have one oral antibiotic that fights this infection, but the best drugs for it are IV drugs meaning I would have to stay in the hospital. I am now on the tablet form of the one drug that have that is oral. Lets pray and seek Jesus for His will, petitioning that this will indeed clear it up.

Last night Katharine annointed me with oil at the BRM. Mama liked the homeless people. She said she really saw the Lord’s work being done and that she was not surprised to see me fit in there because she knew I would be doing whatever Jesus had for me, wherever that was. That made my heart smile.

I sang a song that was a compilation of some Psalms that have really pricked my heart recently. I was able to have really great conversations with Jo Anne and Tina before the  service, and I met a new guy in the kitchen who Mama and I talked to for a while. Then after the service, I was able to talk to Mike D for a while with Mama. I praise Jesus for the work at the mission.

Today is the clambake. Yay! What should I wear? I still remember last years clambake. Dannae and I were so lonely. I won’t be lonely today. I don’t know how…but I wont :).

A few quotes that are true. True quotes are good right? Sorry this post was random:
“We are apt to forget that a man is not only committed to Jesus for salvation; he is committed to Jesus’ view of God, the world, sin, and the devil, and this will mean that he must recognize the responsibility of being transformed by the renewing of his mind.

Jesus never had impulsive movements of hiw own will outside his Father’s. It was always the Father’s will He did.

True earnestness is found in obeying God not in the inclination to serve Him that is born out of undisciplined behavior.” -Oswald Chambers

Some of my swelling is starting to go down today. I’m happy about that. The pain pills for my new wound are amazing. I’m going to miss them. I felt guilty taking them at the mission last night. haha

Today I’m gonna finish hanging curtains and cleaning. Mama leaves tomorrow :(. I’m gonna be so sad. Jesus … meet me daily.

Our memories make us who we are, but our dreams and hopes make our futures. Who I am may be confused and tattered, but who I will be is pretty dang tight.

ttyl-
meginlea

I’m not going to lie. It’s been ages my friends, but I have excuses, and they are good. First, my lap top broke and I was moving and my desk top was all ready moved. Then I didn’t have internet; then I nearly died. :).

So……my mother is here. She had to come. I got really sick. Apparently I have (as now discovered after many blood tests and cultures) a bacterial infection in my body that came from China when I was bitten by the bug of some sort. I’ve had more legions (i know nasty) on my legs and upper body from the infection, and my eye swelled up the size of a golf ball. It was swollen shut by Monday afternoon. Mom flew up and I’ve been in and out of doctors. I had to have another incision cut into my body to drain a legion that was infected. I’m on a heck of a lot of antibiotics and basically soaking myself in scalding water to help with swelling and infection. Actually, I’m so swollen right now from the infection that my pants don’t really fit. It’s ok…it will go away soon. Anyway- I appreciate all the prayers, and my spirits are well. I bless the Lord my creator. I count it joy that I can be counted worthy to suffer. The pslams have really offered me comfort. At first I wondered if I had not done something wrong to be going through so much of what I’m going through in my life right now even outside of my physical health, but then I realized that is ridiculous. Sure, this being broken down has revealed to me a lot of my sin, and I am greatful again to mortify flesh, but that is not the cause of my suffering right now. Remember the parable where Jesus said the man was not blind because of sin? I have had some friends encourage that maybe I am not listening to Jesus right now or that I am running from something and that if I stop, this pain that i am enduring in my heart and my body will leave. I consider those friends as Job’s friends right now. For it is a beautiful place. I sit at Jesus’ feet and I do listen to Him. And he says to me…come child. He beckons me. This is his strength…and the light in my eyes is not gone :).

I don’t know what this year will hold, and I don’t know who I’ll meet or where I’ll be, but Jesus has got me right where he wants me, and I look forward. I know in whom I have believed, and I know the power of Jesus name. I know the power of Jesus blood that has cleansed me, and I know the power of the Holy Spirit that gives me breath and life.

Tonight I’m singing at the mission again. I hope they don’t mind that I’ll be limping a lot from my new wound :). Classes start on Monday. Saturday is the clambake. My classes are going to be super hard this semester. I glanced at some of the syllabi all ready…holy guacamole. Anywho- I’m here in this new beautiful apartment though, and my Mommy has helped me out so much. I have so much to be thankful for right now…and I have so much to despair over; yet, there is my Savior standing in my midst…therefore all the despair is overshadowed. I find my strength under His wing. If you wanna come rest there with me, I don’t mind company…but I’m not gonna lie… I don’t wanna share Him :).

Love and blessings,
Meginlea

bless the Lord O my soul
and all that is within me bless His holy name
I can feel your staff again Lord
like a Shepherd you’re guarding your lot
I can feel you drive your word in Lord
till you’re all that I want

Bless the Lord Bless the Lord O my soul
and all that is within me bless His holy name
and forget not His benefits
who forgives all of our sins
he redeems my life from the pit
and casts out all the demons

Bless the Lord Bless the Lord O my soul
and all that is within me bless His holy name
lay me down in pastures green lord
restore my soul with waters still
and tho the valley of death presses in lord
i will fear no evil

Bless the Lord Bless the Lord O my soul
and all that is within me bless His holy name
the Lord works righteousness
and justice for the oppressed
through Jesus he is known to us
He is merciful and gracious

You prepare a table before me
You annoint my head with oil
My cup overflows with your mercy
I want to dwell in your house of Lord

Bless the Lord Bless the Lord O my soul
and no matter what the lot all within me will bless His holy name